White Friday

Granny Hat woke to soft silence the day after Thanksgiving. A light neep of qanik was drifting down. It was very cozy under the down comforter, a sigh of relief, no need to cook for several days, perfect day for a cup of Grizzly blend coffee and some musing. Then the beeping started, and all three of the neighbor’s state- of- the- art automatic garage doors flew open to free a fleet of SUV’s all warmed up and ready for the aput. Suddenly Granny remembered – the neighbors are avid, traditional Black Friday shoppers, got to get out early to grab the deals at…… wait, there isn’t even a mall in the Flathead Valley! There is still a J.C. Penney and then a mile away, Hobby Lobby and REI, then another trek to Cabelas and Ross. Granny Hat snuggled back into the covers, she tried Black Friday out years ago, never again. Others can go slip-sliding away on the br’r’r’put. There is always Amazon. UPS drivers know how to navigate the ba’qamutik. Granny is going to enjoy her White Friday.

Granny admits she has been musing to herself for some time now and not sharing. One of her favorite readers confronted her recently and asked what had happened to Granny Hat. It was an honest question so she had to ask herself what HAD happened to herself?

The best excuse she can come up with is that she suddenly had too much on her plate. There is a lovely anonymity to being the new kid on the block in unfamiliar territory. One can drift about like the ghup’kik pretending not to know anything or having any influence to offer. This frees up an amazing amount of leisurely time.

Once settled in, the joining commences and when that is mature, the days fill up like so much well’aput. Granny has less time to blog but is happy to say that she feels completely at home in the great north; she has been examined, tested and accepted. Most new friends have forgotten where she moved from or, at least, have forgiven her for having been born against her choice in such a God-forsaken wilderness of wild wokeness. Many of them have been introduced to walnuts and citrus fruits, pomegranates and persimmons; they are beginning to soften toward the golden state.

Granny Hat is becoming familiar with all the different styles of snow. It is no wonder the Eskimo tradition has up to 50 words for the white stuff. Granny’s favorite is the large fluffy variety that shows its true snowflake crystals when it lands on your sleeve. Two nights ago, tiny Styrofoam pellets fell from the sky, not hail, not sleet, not like any snow she had ever seen, matsaaruti! It would be perfect for snowcones. Move over Dippin Dots!

Granny loves snow because it is quiet, clean, soft, it covers bare plants with a new bloom. Snow lends lovely shape to otherwise mundane things: wood chip piles, bare tamarack trees, the old gas grill on the patio. They are works of art on this White Friday.

Granny Hat is back with the nap’pap. Here’s hoping no boo’boo’naqinaq falls on you and may all your Black Fridays be White.

Eskimo Snow Glossary:

anik	snow in the air
aput	snow on the ground

tla’papap

surprisingly large snowflakes that make a sound upon landing

wiliwip	snow used for making recreational snowballs
kiliwip	snow used for making lethal snowballs

br’r’r’put

unnaturally cold snow

ghup’kik	snow that reminds the observer of snow seen in a dream
nap’pap	snow seen in a dream

ba’qamutik

the best type of snow for dogsled races, joyriding and quick getaways

boo’boo’naqinaq

a special type of snow that only falls upon sad Eskimo women

blip’aput	snow that is less than one foot deep
well’aput	snow that is more than one foot deep but not deep enough to reach the chin

luna’aput

snow that falls directly from the surface of the moon

!!!!!!