“It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times…”

Mission described the Arizona Trail like this to Granny Hat the other day, “Basically the AZT is 80% the worst and 20% the best thing ever. There’s no middle.” Granny has decided to channel one of her favorite authors, Charles Dickens and with Mission’s photos help her readers visualize the contrasts of his statement. 

“It was the best of times, 

 

…it was the worst of times, 

…it was the age of wisdom, 

 

…it was the age of foolishness, 

…it was the epoch of belief

…it was the epoch of incredulity

…it was the season of light

…it was the season of darkness, 

 
…it was the spring of hope, 

…it was the winter of despair,

 
Mission insists that the Gila Monster he saw on the trail was “cool” and “beautiful” but Granny Hat has a reason for listing that desert dragon with the badlands. Granny had a bad experience 58 years ago that left her with lizard PTSD. She had just moved with her family to the Tropical Savannah in Pernambuco, Brazil. They lived in a cinder block house with no electricity and running water that had to be boiled before you could drink it. Since there was no garbage disposal and fruit scraps were a neon invitation to bats, monkeys and denizens of the forest, garbage had to be dumped daily on the outskirts of the settlement. Mother (who was a very tough lady indeed to move to such a place) handed Granny and her little brother a heavy tin pail overflowing with stinky, rotting banana peels, orange rinds and guava skins and tasked to carry it down a scary, vine draped path, emptying it into a gaping dump the size of the Grand Canyon.  

The two children struggled with the slop and just as they were about to tip the pail over the rim of the festering pit, a huge tropical Iguana who was feasting on the garbage reared up on his hind legs and stood towering 20 feet over them, hissing. Granny and her brother dropped the pail and turned tail, running and screaming back up that path. Mother, who as Granny already said, was very strong and figured her children would have to be resilient to survive in this brave new world, sent them sternly back down the path to collect the bucket (buckets were essential and you couldn’t just get another one at Target). She assured them iguanas are “more afraid of you than you are of them”, that “there was nothing to fear but fear itself” and several other “it is what it is” style platitudes. 

When the children got back to the garbage dump, the Iguana was nowhere to be seen, but that lizard and his entire family visited Granny in her dreams for years. She was always carrying a bucket that she couldn’t drop and running in place but getting nowhere and the iguanas were faster. Yeah, Granny hates all lizards. If trolls guard the bridges in northern Europe to travelers’ peril, Iguanas guard the garbage pits of the tropics. And Gila Monsters watch over the AZT so don’t mess up, STAY ON THE TRAIL! 

Granny hopes you have a fairly accurate picture of Mission’s trip so far, he has completed more than 200 miles, so is 25% done already. He passed through Carney, Arizona and is presently at around Lat 33.244704 Lon –111.158166. 

Granny’s mother was right, of course, mama knows best. In another favorite author’s words: 

“It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.” J.R.R. Tolkien 

Mission isn’t afraid of much but many of his thru-hike followers are, so Granny leaves them with this: 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

Our creator also promised ”streams in the desert”. These water sources will have to do for now!

History of the AZT will have to wait until next time. Thank you for reading and following and praying. Granny appreciates the feedback and text comments- a big thank you to her niece Ariadne who assisted in naming the desert dragon pictured above.