books – Granny Hat

Granny Hat was minding her own business, doing some mending and watching one of her British murder mysteries when the Free Vee ads interrupted with “Baby Boomers! 99% of you have the shingles virus sleeping within, soon it will strike, you never know when.” This was followed by a pitch for the latest, greatest vaccine and a long, harrowing list of side effects, many of which are actually more dangerous than the shingles. Baby Boomers have a lot to worry about.

Not only is their chicken pox, calamine lotion, scars and itching threatening to come back with a whole new level of vengeance but Boomers are being blamed for all manner of societal calamity these days. Granny is horrified to learn that she and her generation stand accused! They are depleting the social security coffers, are often too patriotic, think it’s their way or the highway. And they can’t shut up about the good ole’ days.

Even worse, apparently Boomers can’t be trusted; they embraced Reaganomics and told their kids that a college education was all they needed to live a charmed life. Gen X was told they could be anything they wanted to be; the Boomers traded in lessons about work ethic & saving a buck for privilege & entitlement. They told their kids they “believed in them”. And now, nobody believes in the Baby Boomers!

Granny Hat is standing up for her generation. How about some r-e-s-p-e-c-t and compassion for Granny Hat and her peers? Consider the passage of time, the changes in society that they have suffered. Life used to be simpler and easily defined. Everything these days is sooo confusing.

For example, Boomers used to be able to explain the birds and the bees to their offspring (those millennials). But now, they have to explain the birds and the birds, the bees and the bees, the birds that used to be bees, the bees that used to be birds, the birds that look like bees, plus bees that look like birds but still have a stinger.

Granny remembers going to school to learn things, useful things, things that were true. Now she has to face the idea that tattoos and piercings might not keep you from getting a job anymore, that meritocracy doesn’t matter, that recycling doesn’t either, grades don’t matter (especially in the birds & the bees class – all the answers are right), participation is more important than performance, that government isn’t of the people by the people OR for the people, need she go on? (and which people are we even talking about?)

Maybe Boomer education was flawed. Maybe they should blame the Greatest Generation for imposing outdated ideas on the American school system. Granny Hat recently stumbled upon an article entitled 12 Things That Boomers Learned in School That Are Obsolete. She is going to list them for you with just a few comments. She wants to hear from her readers, are these items indeed obsolete? Were we wasting our time becoming adept at skills that no longer matter?

Cursive Writing and Penmanship: Granny’s better half says when he went back to college at the age of 45 he could take notes faster than the millennials with his cursive, and what about artistic dexterity?

Slide Rules for complex mathematical calculations: readers, what do you think?

Typing Class: again, dexterity?

Diagramming Sentences or “Grammar Bootcamp”: Granny has to ask, is our culture MORE or LESS articulate with the English language than it used to be? Are we able to say what we need to say? Are we able to say it beautifully? Do we understand the power of punctuation or prepositions?

Let’s eat Grandma! or Let’s eat, Grandma!

Home Economics: teaching “obsolete” skills like budgeting, cooking, sewing. Granny thinks we could use a little of these obsolete skills.

Memorizing State Capitols: now this one made Granny Hat mad, she was really good in geography class.

Balancing a Checkbook: rated obsolete because we have online banking now, but how many people would be helped by having to painfully write down what they just spent, subtract it without a calculator and see what they have left before buying more?

Spelling Bees: “you don’t have to be good at spelling anymore”, they say, “just use spell check.” Granny says every time you use spell check you save a few seconds but lose some much-needed brain cells.

Dewey Decimal System: ok, maybe this one is irrelevant but Granny Hat knows quite a few kids that can’t put things in alphabetical order.

Reciting Poetry: ??? Granny can’t even believe this is on the list. They tell us Boomers that one of the best ways to stay sharp is to memorize things.

Nuclear Classroom Drills: like hiding under a desk could help! LOL

Granny Hat’s last word, because she always has one: If you give up on any of the above irrelevants, please keep memorizing. If you are a follower of the Word of God, by all means, memorize as much as you can. Many a prisoner of war throughout history will tell of the comfort, fortitude and blessing they received because God’s Word was written on their hearts. Let us keep learning that which is eternal and will never be obsolete.

“May my teaching drop like the rain,
my speech condense like the dew;
like gentle rain on grass,
like showers on new growth”. Deuteronomy 32:2