Granny Hat

In the year 2525
If man is still alive
If woman can survive
They may find…
In the year 3535
Ain’t gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do, and say
Is in the pill you took today

In the year 5555
Your arms are hanging limp at your sides
Your legs got nothing to do
Some machine is doing that for you

In the year 6565
Ain’t gonna need no husband, won’t need no wife
You’ll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long glass tube’ Whoooa

In the year 7510
If God’s a-comin’ he ought to make it by then
Maybe he’ll look around himself and say
Guess it’s time for the Judgement day

In the year 8510
God is gonna shake his mighty head then
He’ll either say I’m pleased where man has been
Or tear it down and start again

Now it’s been 10, 000 years
Man has cried a billion tears
For what he never knew
Now man’s reign is through
But through eternal night
The twinkling of starlight
So very far away
Maybe it’s only yesterday

“This song means something to me because I am the one who wrote it and sang lead on the RCA release, 1969. What I wanted to say is exactly what I wrote: beware of technology and use it well lest it runs out of control and dehumanizes all of us.”  Rick Evans 2015-01-29
Zager & Evans certainly wrote a “prophetic” ballad but their timeline might be a bit off.  It sounds to Granny Hat like some of the doom and gloom in the song is happening right now and it is only 2020!  Granny has been rocking in her chair and thinking very hard about how the world suddenly turned upside down. Topsy Turvy Town

Then this morning, she had an epiphany!   It wasn’t sudden at all! Slowly but surely, while we go about our lives trying to make a buck, have some fun and live the American Dream, an enemy has been lurking out by the garden gate, stealthily creeping into our sitting rooms, whispering sweet nothings in our ears and chipping away at our defenses.  The incense is burning, the green lady is strumming and thrumming by the fire until we are all in a deep sleep (The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis), then BAM! We wake up to New  World Order for breakfast and we didn’t even get to see the menu!  The lights are on but they look different somehow, not quite clear and bright.  The jukebox keeps playing Bye Bye Miss American Pie over and over. We were just starting to get a handle on life, had our futures sort of mapped out and now the ecclesiastical futility of it all seems like the only reality.

But thankfully, there is one who never sleeps, never slumbers.   He is the same yesterday, today, forever.  His love is everlasting and His Word does not return void.  The world is groaning loudly, but Granny’s heart is strangely stirred with a fresh breeze, a new hope.  Old memories are coming back and they make more sense now than they ever did. The music did NOT die, it can’t.  Stay awake and sing a new song! Be sober and of strong mind!

Sit right back and let Granny Hat tell you a little story.  She won’t insult your intelligence by interpreting the fable for you.  Just enjoy it and draw whatever conclusions blow in on the breeze:

THE NORTH WIND & THE SUN

The North Wind and the Sun had a quarrel about which of them was the stronger.  While they were disputing, with much heat and bluster, a traveler passed along the road wrapped in a cloak.

“Let us agree,” said the Sun, “that he is the stronger who can strip that traveler of his cloak.”

“Very well,” growled the North Wind and at once sent a cold, howling blast against the traveler.

With the first gust of wind the ends of the cloak whipped about the traveler’s body.  But he immediately wrapped it closely around him and the harder the Wind blew, the tighter he held it to him.  The North Wind tore angrily at the cloak but all his efforts were in vain.

Then the Sun began to shine.  At first his beams were gentle, and in the pleasant warmth after the bitter cold of the North Wind, the Traveler unfastened his cloak and let it hang loosely from his shoulders.  The Sun’s rays grew warmer and warmer.  The man took off his cap and mopped his brow.  At last he became so heated that he pulled off his cloak, and, to escape the blazing sunshine, threw himself down in the welcome shade of a tree by the roadside.                                                                              Aesop for Children Checkerboard Press New York

 

Granny Hat was all set to post about her road trip with the grandsons; that will be next with plenty of lovely photos.  But the story of the North Wind and the Sun couldn’t wait.  “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow!”

 

 

                                                                             

“I will lift up my eyes to the mountain; from whence shall my help come?

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.

The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul.

The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in

 From this time forth and forever.  Psalm 121

“Old Mother Goose, when she wanted to wander,

Would ride through the air on a very fine gander.”

Granny Hat likes having her say just like the best of them.  And lately there is so much to talk about.  Talking can keep her from thinking, which is good because thinking these days can be dangerous.  And if she opens her mouth to speak or puts her thoughts down for people to read, that can be dangerous too! How many of Granny’s  readers have offered their opinions on social media only to realize they have lost a “friend” because of it?  How many of them have bumped their noggins on a wall built up between friends or family members because of politics?  Someone said something about their post being “taken down” the other day because they spoke too freely about their concerns!  If you have something to say that is opposed to the daily rhetoric or if you aren’t the type of American to goose step behind whoever is doling out the stipends and vaccinations, you may find that what you have to say is extremely unpopular.

More than any time in Granny’s life, she is beginning to suspect that censorship has invaded the land of the free and the home of the brave.  She remembers stories from history class that told about nations that inspired such fear in their people that they would actually tattle on their neighbors for actions that the King frowned upon!  Throughout the centuries, subjects of kingdoms all around the world have cowered in fear of offending their rulers and finding themselves punished with poverty or worse. But Granny never ever envisioned that the red, white and blue country she loves would actually stoop to fostering fear and subservience instead of confidence and independence.  Freedom of speech, of assembly, of religion, these are treasures!

Granny has an idea! Maybe it’s time to take a tip from her British ancestors who didn’t enjoy these freedoms and carefully “say what she needs to say” in rhymes and riddles.  She has heard that many of the Mother Goose Rhymes may sound like innocent children’s songs but were actually exposés of very scandalous stuff in the palace or protests against unjust social practices.  The Kings and Queens of Old England couldn’t handle criticism, they got their feathers ruffled at the slightest provocation. The penalty for speaking up against their rule was extreme. So if you had an opinion and couldn’t keep it to yourself you had to have an imagination and find a way to have your say AND keep your head on your shoulders. Granny Hat has always wondered what happened to the little child at the parade who declared “the Emperor has no clothes!” If the naked truth can get you in trouble, better to disguise the facts. It was brilliant to make little nursery rhymes that kids could chant as they played in the streets and ran through the woods.  What better way to spread the word?  Add a little humor and the rhymes were easier to swallow and usually sailed right over the heads of the rich and famous.

Granny Hat has collaborated with Mother Goose to come up with a list of favorite nursery rhymes followed with the real life stories they describe in code.  She would love to see if her readers can match them up. Perhaps they can inspire us to add some humor and rhythm to the things we need to say. Fair warning, conditions were brutal for our ancestors.  Mother Goose may be for kids, but the tales that inspired them were definitely for a more mature audience.

Matching Game: match the nursery rhymes to the historical legends below!

Three Blind Mice                Humpty Dumpty                  Jack and Jill

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary              Georgy Porgy                      Baa, Baa, Black Sheep

                           Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater                 Ring a Ring o’ Roses

 

1. Queen Mary I, known as Bloody Mary didn’t mess around.  See, she was Catholic and three of her noblemen were Protestant. When they refused to proselytize, she accused them of plotting to overthrow her rule and had them burned at the stake. Now to be fair she didn’t really dismember them or put out their eyes, just burned them, so no biggy.

2. Don’t even ask what these two unmarried royals were up to when they set out on a hike.  The man was injured in a fall down the hill and carried into town in ceremony and scandal. The woman ended up in the family way and the villagers couldn’t resist gossiping about the hanky-panky.

3. Bloody Mary, the Catholic Queen of England sure was an infamous lady. Her leadership was self-serving and her subjects lived in fear.  She rode through the streets with expensive ornaments dangling from her gowns, smiling and waving at her starving people. She was widely known for executing over 280 protestant dissenters. She had lost a string of infants at childbirth and the people mocked her for not being able to produce any living children to run and play in her extensive gardens.

4. It is said that King Richard III was fond of a 17^th century drink made of brandy and ale. He had a bit too much, rode off to battle pretty tipsy and fell off his horse only to be chopped to bits by his enemies. No one could do anything for him. Pubs in England still serve the drink named after this rhyme.

5. George Villiers was the Duke of Buckingham in the 17^th century.  He was rich, famous and very handsome.  If only he had used these things for goodness and influence.  But instead he was a social climber who slept his way to the top, breaking hearts and homes all over the kingdom.  He was the notorious tabloid face of the day, with paparazzi following him back and forth across the London Bridge.

6. There was no such thing as an amicable separation or a divorce in England in the early 1700’s.  There was one prominent duke whose wife kept wandering back to her former nightlife career.   He couldn’t divorce her without a scandal so he just had her knocked off and hid her body in the garden. Problem solved!

7. There is nothing new under the sun, certainly not taxes!  For centuries Kings, Rulers, Parliaments and Congress have leveraged heavy taxes on their citizens.  Apparently as early as the 13^th century, shepherd boys barely profited from the sale of wool because the local tax collector would come to call as soon as the sheared sheep were running around in the cold naked. This was years before concerned citizens ever even thought of throwing crates of perfectly good tea into the harbor.  Guess when nursery rhymes didn’t work, people had to board ships and risk everything to repatriate.  When the taxes even followed them across the sea, they just had to get louder!

8. The Black Plague swept across Europe between 1347 and 1353, killing millions of people.  Symptoms included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring, sneezing, and black sores.  The people places herbs and flower petals in their pockets to cut down on the putrid smell of the sores and the funeral pyres all around town.

 

There are many more Mother Goose rhymes that hint of mysterious historical events.  Do they sound familiar?  They say history repeats itself and that we rarely learn from it.  Granny Hat thinks that is very sad.  So while she can, she intends to keep saying what she needs to say, creatively!  Mother Goose has inspired her.  And next time there’s a parade and someone streaks, she will just keep her mouth shut!

 

“Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put ’em in quotations

Say what you need to say……

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say …….

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open (a wide heart)

Say what you need to say ……”

SAY by John Mayer

 

So what was the cat?  The fiddle?

And who really jumped over the moon?

Who ran away with whom?

 

 

Granny Hat will admit it; she is a Bag Lady.  She has bags for books, bags for music, bags for sewing projects and bags for beauty products.  She also has shopping bags, quite a collection.  Back in the day, when the nice cashier at the supermarket would ask “paper or plastic?”,  Granny always answered “paper, please” for two reasons: first, groceries roll around and smoosh together in plastic bags and second, paper bags are very useful.

Indeed, for many years, paper grocery sacks were essential craft supplies to have on hand.  Granny’s kids made paper bag puppets, funny party hats, gift tags and wrapping paper out of those bags.  Some of Granny’s friends might remember when Nob Hill Supermarkets in central coast California issued bags printed with holiday themes for making Christmas paper chains.  Wadded up and burned around the edges, paper bags made great treasure maps for a Pirate Birthday Party.  Who remembers folding brown paper bags into text book covers in high school, decorating them with stickers and colored pencils drawings? Granny and her family re-purposed and recycled those bags.  They are completely sustainable.

Everyone counted on brown paper bags being available and free, Granny Hat is pretty sure that in the Shoppers Bill of Rights each consumer has the right to a free paper bag!  But alas, they are BROWN, not GREEN!  It was suggested a couple years ago that we all stop carrying our paper bags home only to stuff them in the trash like the irresponsible consumers we are.  They even condescendingly made re-usable bags available, every fundraiser and local shop handing them out to trick us into being green.

But Granny Hat is like most Americans; we don’t follow codes, because they are really just guidelines. So we didn’t listen, consequently “going green” was a fail.   There was only one way to bring shoppers into compliance, charge them $$ for paper and plastic bags.  Well, Granny is as tight as the best of them and her last name is Miser, so she got on board, collecting a few free re-usable shopping bags from Trader Joes, Beverly Fabrics and Hazel Hawkins Hospital.  She even convinced herself that this was the environmentally sound thing to do and felt good about the new Green Granny Hat life.

Suddenly though, because of the Covid19 pandemic, we can no longer use personal shopping bags, Granny’s lie folded up in the back seat of her Prius Hybrid. See, they could potentially carry more than just groceries; hitchhiking Corona virus could easily travel back and forth from home to store.  Out came the awful, terrible, BROWN paper bags to the rescue. But did they go back to being free?  Nope!  The store is now charging us for each bag and we don’t have a choice.  And yet, Granny is so very happy to have the brown bags back that she doesn’t even mind paying for them.  Does this make Granny a lobster soaking in the pot?  At least she can be a crafty lobster and make plenty of paper bag puppets and masks before the water starts to boil.

So all of this got Granny to thinking really hard, think think think.  Uncle Sam has finally found a way to herd the buffalo the way he wants them to go.  We now happily pay for our shopping bags.  We wear our homemade masks and spray sanitizer everywhere we go. We blow kisses and air hug our friends and ZOOM our Bible studies and dance classes.  What else will we find ourselves drifting into? Whatever it is could be worse than having to pay a few cents for each bag at the supermarket. Don’t get Granny wrong, she can understand the need to bring the paper bags back and the masks have their place and all.  And she in no way means to make light of any serious epidemics. But she does wonder what this “shelter in place” thing is really about.  Who is being protected from what?  Is home a place of safety or are we under house arrest?  And what are “they” busy doing while we are stuck in our houses at the mercy of the evening news?

Many Americans seem worried about their basic rights moving forward, the right to bear arms, the right to free speech, the right to assemble.  We are a celebration people and mark the passage of each year with seasonal activities, holidays and traditions.  Quite a few of Granny’s friends are pretty upset about their parades, concerts, birthday parties and weddings being cancelled.  In California, kids might not even be able to go to summer camp!  This is bad news for the kids, SUPER bad news for the parents!

Granny hears people talking about the REAL REASONS we are under a mandated isolation procedure:

1. Certain folks want to control election outcomes.
2. Something sinister going down with homeschooling.
3. Say bye bye to football; it is a gladiator sport that fuels misogyny.
4. Socialists want to take down capitalism.
5. Bill Gates and his cronies want a one world order.                                                               (Wait! Didn’t capitalism work for Microsoft?)
6. We are all going to be vaccinated and given chips, not the Frito kind.
7. The apocalypse is near and “I wish we’d all been ready”! Store plenty of TP, beans, rice, flour and don’t forget the butter!
   

   

These are all really complicated issues and Granny needs more than a “thotful spot” to figure them out.  She would really rather just think that IT’S THE BAGS!  She has heard that its always about the money, follow the money.

Meanwhile, Granny Hat has been trying to really enjoy “blooming where she is planted”.  She recently started the Super Bloom Seed Share Face Book Group.  This was born out of her own search for seeds and her post about Victory Gardens. Freedom from Fear, Plant a Victory Garden.  This has been such a fun way to connect with friends who are enjoying some sunshine (still free last time Granny checked), getting exercise digging in the dirt (also free), posting beautiful photos of their sprouts and blooms.  Granny is inspired by so many of her creative friends who are painting on their fences, doing crafts with their kids, playing music on Zoom and baking from scratch again. One of her friends, Kristy Burchard is building a darling Little Free Library book house for her front yard. Granny loves May Day and was happy to see that people had the time this year to leave posies on porches and cheer up their neighbors.  Granny Hat is thankful for these  blessings that don’t come from Amazon and prove that we can think outside the …….Bag!

Be thankful for those bags! (Be sure to save them, they might come in handy!) And be thankful for all the things we enjoy that money cannot buy.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Count Your Blessings, published in 1897 by Johnson Oatman Jr.

 

Granny’s favorite bag lady:

 

 

 

One of Granny Hat’s friends told her the other day that her favorite silver lining to this awful pandemic is the sound of the neighbors laughing and playing in their back yards.  Everyone is sheltering in place and greeting one another over the back fence.  Just one month ago this Silicon bedroom community near Granny’s home would open daily before the crack of dawn to spit out the commuters with their lap tops and coffee mugs.  Away they would fly to beat the sun and traffic, leaving a ghost town behind.  A month ago they were just the career folks across the street, now they have voices, personalities, faces.

Granny’s favorite actor of all time would have to be Jimmy Stewart (Tom Hanks, she loves you too).  Maybe it is because Jimmy’s accent was so very like her Grandpa Lloyd’s, who hailed from Boston.  But also because Stewart played so many noble, endearing characters.  What could be more inspiring than Mr. Smith’s filibuster marathon on the Senate Floor or more thought- provoking than his courtly friendship with Harvey, the pookah?  And, of course, everyone loves the way Clarence got his wings!

But one of her very favorite Stewart characters is L. B. “Jeff” Jefferies in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window, often ranked as one of the director’s best pieces and listed in the greatest films of all time.  Jeff is a professional photographer confined to a wheel chair in his second story Chelsea flat while he recovers from a broken leg.  Without Zoom or Netflix, the only relief in the man’s boring quarantine is to gaze out his rear window, across the courtyard below and observe his neighbors who have been driven out into the fresh air by a dreadful heat wave.  His curiosity gets the better of him as his eye for detail and an active imagination bring his neighbors to life.  There is the flamboyant dancer, a single sunbather he nicknames Miss Lonely-hearts, a talented composer-pianist, a married couple who lowers their little dog in a basket from their balcony to the courtyard to play and a sinister looking traveling salesman with an invalid wife.  As Jeff watches one evening he unwittingly witness what he thinks…….could be……a brutal murder!  Granny won’t give any more away than that.

Many of us have an inner sleuth just longing to be set free; we’d love to play Nancy Drew or Columbo.  Indeed, Granny Hat has been an arm chair detective for years, looking out her rear window.

It all started on “D” Street in Grants Pass, Oregon when she was very young.  Granny’s mom returned from the corner health food store (you remember, the type of shop that smelled strongly of Vitamin B12 and Brewer’s Yeast) talking about the “new carrot juicing trend”.

“I mean, this juicing business makes sense”, she declared to Granny’s father, “but I did notice that the owner and his whole family are orange, literally Phil, they are ORANGE and I’ll bet it’s because of the carrot juice!”  Four year old Granny was horrified; she hadn’t heard of Oompa Loompas yet but she really wanted to see the orange people!  She gazed out her window for weeks, hoping to catch a glimpse of the carrot family walking past.  She even tried the rear window in case they strolled home through the alley.

Then, as a teenager, in Orange County, CA Granny remembers the bad boys that lived behind, over the fence.  These hoodlums cussed and drank and smoked and loudly used the Lord’s name in vain.  When the family dog was poisoned and burglars broke into the house, stealing mother’s wedding ring and the stereo with Granny’s Carpenters record in it, she was 100% positive that those bad boys were to blame.  Granny and her brothers and sister began spying through knot holes in the fence since they couldn’t get a good enough view from their rear window.

Even as an adult, Granny can look out her rear window and see things (mostly walnut trees). But every now and then the crazy neighbor emerges from his back door dragging a dining room chair into the field.  He sits for hours with a shotgun over his knees staring at the ground and waiting for a gopher to surface.  BLAM!!! goes the shotgun, then more waiting.  Granny can bake a whole batch of bread, clean house, teach a couple of piano students on FaceTime and sure enough, just a glance out her rear window and he’s still there!  On the surface of it, he seems harmless and straightforward enough, he has an American right to bear arms and kill vermin but what else is the guy up to?  Granny thinks anyone with that kind of time to kill has got something or other up his sleeve.

Before she judges the neighbor completely however, Granny remembers being on the other side of the fence when she and Dad first moved into the orchard house one spring in the 80’s.  The neighbors were far away and even more distant socially, they didn’t even wave when they drove by.  It wasn’t until fall when Granny’s family was out harvesting walnuts that the neighbors slowed down and rolled down their windows.

“Where is Clark?  Did Clark move?”  they asked.  Granny’s kids were all ears, what a cryptic question – Where is Clark?  Then they introduced themselves as the Pereiras, Joe, Lillian and the girls, the best neighbors a family could ask for.  Turns out, Clark was a scoundrel whose bar down the street went broke, so he moved his gaming and drinking onto the property.  There were shoot outs, drunken orgies, get away skids into the Pereira field at midnight only to sink in the mud and then honk the horn until rescue came in the form of a sleepy farmer on his tractor.  No wonder the neighbors shut their doors, turned away and only glanced out their rear window to keep their eye on Clark!  Granny’s kids and the neighbor girl played spy games for years using the nefarious Clark as their nemesis.  Clark was never found.

Granny Hat’s daughter has been living the rear window life for nearly 4 years in a very large city.  Her apartment flat is 3 stories up in a tall tower with front doors that open onto dark hallways.  Her only view is out the rear balcony window and across the street to yet another tower of identical apartments.  Granny has visited several times and has never ever spotted people on the balconies; there are potted plants, a bicycle or two, a lonely chair, but never even a face.  Most of the year it is too hot and the rest of the time the inhabitants are too busy.  This neighborhood that houses hundreds of people is very quiet; the only sounds are the parking garage gates going up and down.

But these past few weeks, Granny’s daughter says the neighborhood has come alive, couples on the balconies, kids out walking the dog, folks waving and smiling. One elderly couple sits out on their balcony each day for about an hour of fresh air and sunshine, but in separate shifts – perhaps the secret to long-term marital bliss! She spied another elderly couple standing on their balcony to greet their grandkids below on the street; the old gentleman was teary eyed because he couldn’t hug them.  At the end of the road there is a grassy parkway lining a canal that separates the apartments from a silent, sprawling urban mall.  Granny Hat’s grand kids can spy children on the lawn blowing bubbles and Yogis out in the cool evenings.  (Not Yogi Bear, people doing Yoga, Granny had to clarify.  The only animals out at the canal are ducks and iguanas – Granny doesn’t go down to the canal when she visits.)  Check out the brilliant blog that had its beginnings at this rear window: Our Holistic Homeschool                                                     Day 11: How to have a HOPPING INDOOR EASTER that your family will never forget!

Granny Hat has been thinking that we become connected to our neighbors when we share a smile and a wave, when we look in their eyes and recognize who they really are.  A body can only watch the pundits and experts talk on the screen for so long and then it becomes imperative to bust out through the rear window and shout “Here I am!” and “Who are you?”  Finally, we NEED to know, it is what makes us human.

Granny Hat hopes her readers will never witness anything like a murder out the rear window, unless it’s just a gopher that bites the dust.  Don’t just watch from the rear window though, open it to the wind and the sun; Granny guarantees her readers will hear laughter, maybe some tears, and definitely see a way to offer help and hope to the neighbors. It is easy and very safe to sit by the rear window and peek out.  But if every front door opened wide, the hall would not be so dark.

All around the neighborhood, I’m gonna let it shine!

Reader, if you haven’t seen this classic film, now is the time while you are sheltering in place! Make some popcorn, snuggle up with loved ones in case you get scared and let your imagination run away with you.

And to quote Elwood P. Dowd from Harvey:  “Very soon the faces of all the other people turn towards me and they smile. They say: ‘We don’t know your name, mister, but you’re a very nice fellow.’ Harvey and I warm ourselves in these golden moments. We came as strangers – soon we have friends. They come over. They sit with us. They drink with us. They talk to us. They tell us about the great big terrible things they’ve done and the great big wonderful things they’re going to do. Their hopes, their regrets. Their loves, their hates. All very large, because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar.

 

Granny has been feeling like everything is Topsy Turvy these days. She is sure her readers feel the same; we are social people, travel people, entertainment people, a commute- to- work people, team sports people, group education people.  All of those things have been turned upside down. And that can be a little scary.

Granny Hat has been afraid of many things in her life; Iguanas (she hates them because of a childhood incident in a very buggy, snake infested, tropical foreign country), Communists (comes from walking back and forth to school every day during the Cold War and wondering which house she could run to for help if the communists invaded), something in the garage at night etc. Reader, you get the idea, Granny has always been a scaredy cat with an imagination.  War, terrorists, flunking a test, getting fired; these are all common fears Americans face.  But it has been many generations since we have feared something so greatly that we fall into step with government mandates, actually stay away from our loved ones, stop meeting to worship, close sporting events and concerts. The Corona Virus has turned us upside down.  We the (independent) people who come and go as we please, with the right to choose and the right to work and the right to identify however we want, we are stuck at home waiting and watching behind the curtains.

 Granny Hat and her siblings grew up listening to an old Happy Time vinyl record called Tubby the Tuba.  It had captivating songs on it like Toy Town Choo Choo, Slippity Slide, the Davey Crockett March and Topsy Turvy Town.  We were very easily entertained.  We didn’t have a TV. (Can we even imagine going through this “shelter in place” thing with no TV?) Granny can’t find anything about this old LP on google but guesses it was circulated in the mid 60’s. Here are the lyrics, Granny boldfaced the parts that seem to ring true right now.

When you look to the front, you see to the rear. (in Topsy Turvy Town)

When you open your eyes, that’s when you can hear. (in Topsy Turvy Town)

And things that look far away really are near in Topsy Turvy Town!

 

When you say “come on in” you mean “go away”!  (in Topsy Turvy Town)

When the sun starts to rise, that’s the end of the day! (in Topsy Turvy Town)

And Santa Claus comes in the middle of May in Topsy Turvy Town!

 

Everyone in Topsy Turvy Town wears shoes up on their head!

And when they rise to greet the day, they jump back into bed!

 

All the trees are so short and the grass is so tall. (in Topsy Turvy Town)

And when they run a race, they run at a crawl. (in Topsy Turvy Town)

They call it a crowd when there’s no one at all in Topsy Turvy Town!

 

Everyone in Topsy Turvy Town will laugh when they are sad,                                           

But you should see the teardrops fall whenever they are glad!

 

When the bells start to ring, the clock is run down. (in Topsy Turvy Town)

All the cows are true blue and the river is brown. (in Topsy Turvy Town)

The mayor wears rags and the beggar a crown in Topsy Turvy Town!

Granny wonders about that last line, surely a social 1960’s message there!  But then, our current problems know no caste, race or level of education.  Rich or poor, famous or humble, righteous or wicked, we all are at the mercy of a very small nemesis.  We are big and powerful; surely we should be able to take on the tiniest of enemies, a microscopic virus!  Elephants are afraid of mice and that is Topsy Turvy!

In the middle of all the confusion, Granny wonders what happened to some very common American things like:

The daily environmental report with concerns about plastic straws, global warming and fracking; Granny bought bamboo straws for Christmas stocking stuffers and found a bamboo toothbrush that Santa left in her sock. Are we still concerned about the turtles?  Granny hopes so!  These very important talking points have all but disappeared in the wake of Covid19. Of course, Americans ARE obsessed with Tiger King, keeping the provocative issues alive and well.

 And speaking of Santa, Granny wonders if the “jolly old elf” had anything at all to do with the spread of the virus, he was in and out of everyone’s homes at a very critical time. If we aren’t going to blame China, then Granny suggests Santa could be the culprit.

Granny Hat and dad also noticed the other day that boiler room ROBO calls have ceased, like suddenly ceased!  Were all those people just fired the minute we were told to stay home?  Seems Topsy Turvy to Granny; most of us have time to talk to random people on the phone now, take election surveys and hear about insurance estimates and they aren’t calling!

Shopping bags!  Granny felt guilted along with everyone else into starting a new habit and added re-usable shopping totes to her bag lady collection. She actually believes in the campaign, Granny is very on board with re-purpose, re-use.  It has only been a few months since she stopped forgetting to take them to the store though and now, they are “verboten”.  Granny does love paper shopping bags, they feel vintage and make the best trash can liners and totes.

Education is all Topsy Turvy now too!  Granny remembers when homeschooling was pretty weird and outside the box. She was told that socialization was very important and kids couldn’t live without it; now they can’t live WITH it.  Teachers are reduced to tiny screens and are being very creative.  Granny knows a music teacher in Hollister, CA that has her students playing the Star Spangled Banner on their respective instruments every evening at 6:30.  The photos are so cute and encouraging.  Granny is convinced that even when we are upside down, we can grow and bloom.

How about the price of gas?  It is finally affordable to travel but we really shouldn’t.  That certainly is Topsy Turvy.  Dad had to make a trip for essential business supplies to Southern CA and he noticed some interesting things. Los Angeles is known for its smog, the traffic, its smog, those tall buildings, its smog, the entertainment industry and its smog.  Granny has it on good authority that the smog is nearly gone and there’s little – to – no traffic.  The buildings are still there, empty icons of power and success.

For the first time in our history, Americans cannot lighten their burdens with live entertainment.  The World Wars birthed great comedy, musical theater, art and variety shows which lifted spirits across the fruited plains. Granny worries we might become even more addicted to our screens because of all this but loves the families posting their own living room musical performances on YouTube.  Creativity is a gift we were created with, good to see the silly smiles in photos and hear the laughter in the videos.

We really are Topsy Turvy!  And sometimes it looks good on us. Granny Hat is happy to report that in her community, she sees even more families biking, walking, planting gardens together and playing games.  After her last post about the Burpee Backorders and Victory Gardens, Granny had a friend offer her some organic seeds from another friend who had plenty.  Granny and her friends are sharing recipes and baking supplies.  It is like a long drawn out May Day though, where people leave something on the front porch, ring the doorbell and run away!

 

Granny Hat needs to admit that she has done her share of complaining about having to work and be responsible, faithful in little things.  If only we could stay home and sleep in!  If only I didn’t have to drive every day to go to work.  I need some “me time”, my plate is too full, and I need to learn how to say “no”, boundaries and all that!  Well, suddenly we have boundaries, enforced boundaries.  Suddenly work is a gift; a schedule keeps us productive and responsible. A job seems like a luxury now. And we truly miss the annoying people we had to put up with at work.

Granny’s campus pastor at SVVC church is always encouraging his parishioners to be faithful at church, to be excited about fellowshiping and worshiping together.  He’s going to get his wish; everyone is counting down the days until they can drag themselves out of bed on a Sunday morning and go to church!   And without Sunday – go – to – meeting on the calendar, Granny isn’t even sure what day of the week it is!  She needs a reminder of all these things and if being Topsy Turvy teaches us anything, let it be that we aren’t invincible and we need each other desperately.  And that freedom of worship is a tremendous gift.

We lost Bill Withers this week, his beloved song is perfect for our times:

Lean on me, when you’re not strong,

And I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on,

For it won’t be long ‘til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.

 

Please swallow your pride, if you have things you need to borrow….

 

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand,

We all need someone to lean on.

I just might have a problem that you’ll understand.

We all need someone to lean on.

 

 

 

Granny Hat and Dad sat down two days ago to place an online Burpee Seeds order, they do this every spring.  They started with green beans and their first choice, Desperado Bush Beans were back ordered until April, so they went to their next favorite, Contender Bush Beans, sold out!  So, they tried the Blue Lake 47, also back ordered!  As panic began to rise, they turned to the corn page, Kandy Corn sold out, Illini Extra Sweet, back ordered!   Oh dear, well Granny has heard you can survive on pumpkins!  Nope, pumpkins all sold out!  The light dawned!  In response to fear, uncertain future and crisis, Americans are yet again planting Victory Gardens! Granny is too young to fully reminisce about the famous gardens of World War II but Dad’s parents were all too happy to take a walk down memory lane…….

Grandpa grew up in a farming family and lived out in the country in the Imperial Valley so he remembers his mom growing rhubarb for pies. They also had grapefruit and orange trees. But he was sailing the South Pacific in the Navy and eating galley food while the Victory Gardens were in full bloom back in the states. He tells stories of banana “raisin” bread when mice got into the flour or grinding coffee for the officers breakfast with extra “animal protein” thrown in (or at least not removed)!

Grandma, on the other hand, was much younger during WWII and remembers her grandmother, Martha Cooper “Nana” turning her Fort Worth backyard into a Victory Garden. She had her gardeners dig up the yard and till it and then she got busy planting corn, potatoes, green beans, and peas.  Grandma was put to work shelling peas and she didn’t like that very much.  But she loved being out in the garden popping sweet cherry tomatoes off the vine.  Grandma had peach trees and Granny can imagine the hot Texas sun turning the fruit sweet and juicy.

 

Secretary of Agriculture Claude R. Wickard came up with the idea of Victory Gardens soon after Pearl Harbor, even though American farms already were producing enough to feed half the world. Groceries were needed to feed the troops overseas and with blackouts on the coasts, stores closed early, so Americans were encouraged to grow their own food.  If you didn’t have a yard and lived in the big city, there were community Victory Gardens, some of the most notable being at the Portland Zoo, Chicago’s Arlington Racetrack and a downtown parking lot in New Orleans.  Gardeners near Chicago’s Cook County Jail were allowed to grow cabbages, radishes and beans but corn was forbidden because it might offer would-be escapees a place to hide! In 1943, Americans planted 20.5 million Victory Gardens! Americans found new vegetables they never knew existed. Kohlrabi, Swiss chard and kale were discovered to be easy to grow with a long season and plenty of nutritional benefits. American housewives began to be more health conscious and went back to canning and preserving food.  Indeed, one of the goals of the government at the time was that there would be “the creation of a healthy citizenry on the home front”. (The Home Front: USA Time Life world War II series, 1978)  And by the way, the humble pumpkin (which Burpee is sold out of- Granny is still quite put out) kept Japan alive in World War I.  Granny still has perfectly good pumpkins sitting on her front porch from last November, talk about shelf life!)

Granny admires the response her forebears had in times of crisis.   When life as they knew it came to a grinding halt, they found another path, got tough, sewed their own clothes, cultivated their own food, and wrote songs like Blue Birds over the White Cliffs of Dover, As Time Goes By and Happy Days Are Here Again. Churches sang hymns with words like:

“His banner over us is love, our sword the Word of God;

We tread the road the saints above with shouts of triumph trod.

By faith they, like a whirlwind’s breath, swept on o’er every field,

The faith by which they conquered death is still our shining shield.

Faith is the victory! Faith is the victory!

Oh, glorious victory, that overcomes the world.”  Ira D. Sankey, John H. Yates

Granny admits that the current health, political, and economic crisis is new, uncharted territory for this generation.  The responses she sees are similar though; get tough, find a new path, look with hope toward the future. But how can we face the future when there is so much uncertainty?  How do we get freedom from fear at a time like this?  Granny knows a bit about the current fear, her doctor son-in-law was very ill this past week and his tests for COVID 19 came back undetermined. There were days of uncertainty and despair over his high fever and other symptoms.  When he turned the corner and began to steadily improve, Granny remembered a favorite song from KLOVE,

Another In The Fire by Chris Davenport & Joel Houston, Hillsong

There’s a grace when the heart is under fire
Another way when the walls are closing in
And when I look at the space between
Where I used to be and this reckoning
I know I will never be alone

There was another in the fire
Standing next to me
There was another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
Of how I’ve been set free
There is a cross that bears the burden
Where another died for me

All my debt left for dead beneath the waters
I’m no longer a slave to my sin anymore
And should I fall in the space between
What remains of me and this reckoning
Either way I won’t bow
To the things of this world
And I know I will never be alone

There is another in the fire
Standing next to me
There is another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
What power set me free
There is a grave that holds no body
And now that power lives in me

And I can see the light in the darkness
As the darkness bows to Him
I can hear the roar in the heavens
As the space between wears thin
I can feel the ground shake beneath us
As the prison walls cave in
Nothing stands between us
Nothing stands between us

There is no other name
But the Name that is Jesus
He who was and still is
And will be through it all
So come what may in the space between
All the things unseen and this reckoning
I know I will never be alone

There’ll be another in the fire
Standing next to me
There’ll be another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
How good You’ve been to me
I’ll count the joy come every battle
‘Cause I know that’s where You’ll be

Granny’s favorite Bible story is Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, or as her Grandpa Lloyd used to say “Shadrach, Meshach and To Bed We Go after this story”!  She loves when the three men refuse to bow down to Nebuchadnezzar’s golden image, she loves Shadrach standing up to the king with that fire blazing nearby and saying “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king.  BUT even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”     And then Granny can just picture the look on Nebuchadnezzar’s face when he “stood up in haste, asking ‘Was it not three men we cast bound into the midst of the fire?  Look! I see four men loosed and walking about in the midst of the fire without harm and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods!’” Daniel 3:17, 18, 24, 25

 

Yes, there is still another in the fire and that is why Granny can have freedom from fear.  A pastor friend from southern California posted this picture of the empty Bible shelves in the book section of Walmart last week.  Granny recommends we trade in fear of the world for the fear that is the beginning of wisdom.

Wise men (and women) still seek Him.

 

 And don’t spend your time lookin’ around
for something you want that can’t be found!
When you find out you can live without it
and go along not thinkin’ about it
I’ll tell you something true:
The bare necessities of life will come to you, they’ll come to you!

Once upon a time, before Covid19 quarantined us all to our shelter places, Granny was busy wearing her Oriana Youth Chorus Hat, teaching animal-themed songs like Rockin’ Robin, Everybody Wants to be a Cat, The Lion Sleeps Tonight and The Bare Necessities to 35 fabulous kids.  Now as she publishes a few review quizzes and worksheets for them to do at home, Granny is reminded that we all have been forced this past week to take stock of our “bare necessities”.  The grocery store and Amazon can tell us what the American people consider “bare necessities”, TP, eggs, milk, rice and beans for starters.  But before Granny Hat publishes her own list, she decided to poll some of the kids and have them list things they just can’t live without.

The answers are still rolling in but so far, Granny’s granddaughter Rebecca who is 10 years old and loves science sent this list: food, water, oxygen, clothes, fire, fat, protein, iron and deoxyribonucleic acid.  Granny was proud of herself for even knowing what that last item is.  Rebecca’s little sister Darcy, who is five, listed hair bands, toys, jewelry, and then after hearing big sister’s more pragmatic answers added clothes, a roof and water.  The roof was a super important item because it rained pretty hard here in central coast California this afternoon.  Another adorable little pod of siblings from Oriana sent their list too:  God, getting outdoors, food, clothes, fishing, mom & dad, water, sunshine and darkness, plants, rain.   Granny Hat thinks these kids are pretty smart.

One of the older students really took the subject seriously.  Her responses are too good not to share.  She went right to the feelings we experience when our daily lives change and to solutions which, of course, are bare necessities. Granny isn’t even going to edit her thoughts.

1. Boredom, but we can easily fix this terrible problem by listening to music, reading a book, online school even though that’s kinda boring, and art.

2.Lonely, maybe if you don’t have siblings to keep you company, or you are “social distancing” yourself from them, you can feel lonely. Call your friends, make a zoom call which can call from any device, play a game with your family, and watch a movie. I showed my parents the movie hairspray yesterday and they loved it!

3. Sadness, maybe you miss school, or all the fun activity’s we are missing like choir, but remember the world is on pause and it’s resetting, after the corona time passes we can resume fun activities with friends and family.

4. Happy, maybe you are happy to be trapped inside your home, good for you! Remember to keep that happy attitude and keep your similar routines like cleaning your room if you ever did that, or walk your dog.

5. Relaxed, we need to remember as long as we are in our homes with our family we will be safe. We don’t need to stress and buy all the toilet paper and water, as long as we carry on with life at home for a few weeks, we will be okay!

Granny Hat noticed that not one of these kid responses reflected any fear.  Clearly they trust their parents to take care of them, Corona or no Corona.  It is the burden of parenting and grand parenting to do the worrying, the planning, the managing so the kids can be “bored but relaxed”, “lonely but hopeful”.  Granny does love Norman Rockwell and this photo is labeled Freedom From Fear,  definitely a Bare Necessity.

A couple of days ago Granny Hat sent Dad to the grocery store with a detailed list of bare necessities needed.  She said to get flour, not bread, because Granny knows how to bake and it is cheaper to make it from scratch.  But there was NO flour, not even whole wheat on the shelves.  It seemed apocalyptic and when Dad came home with the news, Granny started humming Jesus Movement songs from the 70’s like I Wish We’d All Been Ready and Maranatha!

Granny was like, no problem, Amazon Prime to the rescue!  But great minds think alike and there must still be some great proactive minds out there in isolation land because lo and behold! Amazon is flush out of flour, back ordered until TAX DAY, which thankfully has been postponed along with everything else. Granny didn’t panic; instead she slowly lifted her eyes up to heaven and had a little talk with her mom, who taught her how to begin at the beginning when it comes to bread.  She held her breath and typed “winter wheat kernels” and YES!!! there were still sacks and sacks of them available from the big, bountiful Amazon, they are on their way, should be here Tuesday, ready for the grinder and the bread bowl.

 

Granny Hat considers bread to be one of the Bare Necessities of life. As far back as she can remember there was bread rising in the kitchen, the simplest of ingredients growing double in size all due to a simple tablespoon of yeast. Granny and her siblings often woke to the sound of the wheat grinder getting the day’s flour ready.  It was a rite of passage to be trusted to knead the dough for mom; the loaves smelled wonderful baking, fed a large family and got shared with neighbors.  Mom could turn that dough into more than regular loaves; there were cinnamon rolls, pull- apart bread, cinnamon/nut wreaths at Christmas time & cinnamon swirl loaves for Sunday Night toast. (obviously cinnamon is a bare necessity) Add some honey butter (Granny thinks Baloo the Bear would agree that honey is a bare necessity) and mom’s whole wheat bread was elevated to ambrosia when it came fresh out of the oven. Granny is getting hungry and counting down the days until Amazon delivers.  Some really old things mix well with really new things.

MOM’S WHOLE WHEAT BREAD RECIPE

Place in large bowl or Kitchen Machine bowl like a Bosch:

4 cups luke-warm water  mixed with 2 T honey                                                                           Sprinkle 2 T (2 pkgs.) yeast over the water & honey.  Let set for 20 min. until very bubbly.

Add:

2 eggs, room temp

1 1/2 t salt

1/2 cup oil

3/4 cup honey

4 cups wheat flour

Beat for 10 minutes, then add:

2 cups warm water

12 cups whole wheat flour or a half and half mix of whole wheat and white flour if you want a lighter bread

Let set for 1 hour at room temperature.  Knead for 10 minutes, place in oiled bowl, cover with wet muslin cloth. Let rise really high – more than doubled is best.  Divide into 6 loaf pieces and place in greased loaf pans.  Let rise until doubled.  Place in cold oven.  Turn to 425 for 10 minutes, then reduce heat to 350 for 20 to 25 minutes or until browned.  Remove from pans.  Cool or serve warm.  These loaves freeze well.

Now, sing along with Granny Hat!

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature’s recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life

Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
I couldn’t be fonder of my big home
The bees are buzzin’ in the tree
To make some honey just for me
When you look under the rocks and plants
And take a glance at the fancy ants
Then maybe try a few

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They’ll come to you!

Granny Hat’s dad, Phil Lewis loved this song!  Stay tuned to read Granny talk about how to get Freedom From Fear!

Granny Hat originally started this blog to follow her Thru Hiking son, Mission, as he trekked 2680 miles on the PCT in the summer of 2018.  Since then, Granny has become an avid Thru Roader, taking some epic road trips across the fruited plain. Trip Advisor Surveys recently asked Granny Hat if she considered a trip to be a success when everything went according to plan OR when plans had to change but she learned something about others and about herself in the process. Granny chose the latter, it is really the only choice to make since, quite honestly, Granny’s trips never go according to plan but they are so satisfying and she does learn something……. every single time.

Granny Hat and Dad love the backroads of America, the ones with potholes, no more than two lanes, maybe not even marked, with uncertain lodging and dining at the end. That is where the adventure begins.  If you have a little camping gear, all-wheel drive, some snacks and some imagination, you can usually come out all right in the end.

( Its a rare motel that has views this spectacular and are this quiet.)

And it’s the only way to find places like Big Springs, an Idaho State Park graced by warm water that seeps out of the Yellowstone geyser basin into pools on the other side of the mountain.   It usually gets overlooked by its popular (and crowded) National Park neighbor………

Big Springs, Idaho      Big Springs Bald Eagles   Yellowstone Water

…..or the Berlin Gold Mining Ghost Town State Park in outback Nevada where the largest fossil remains of the Ichthyosaur (prehistoric marine reptiles) in the world reside.

Berlin/Ichthyosaur Nevada State Park

Then there are the coal kilns of Death Valley, built by William Randolph Hearst for his mining activities near the lowest elevation in America.  Granny Hat could live in one of these kilns up a lonely dirt road.  Hopefully Airbnb will never find them.

Another bonus of Thru Roading is the hope of an alfresco picnic and it is uncanny how often Granny and Dad stumble upon a lone picnic table under a spectacular tree out in the middle of nowhere.  The most humble of fare becomes a magical meal in the fresh air and as a bonus, wildlife will often show up.

But Granny Hat’s favorite thing about backroads is the SKY!  So blue, so wild with clouds racing from horizon to horizon, nothing to block the place where land and heaven meet.  Dad had always wanted to drive through the Clear Air Preserve which straddles the border of Nevada and Idaho and boasts the cleanest air in the USA.  You need 4 wheel drive to take dirt roads up to the preserve but Granny and Dad got very close and yes, you could feel the purity of the air in your lungs, the vistas were clear, no smoke, smog, fog or dust.  And it was quiet, very very quiet; you could hear your heart beat.

A little Granny Hat advice about how to make a road trip both enjoyable and educational:  don’t enjoy the road less traveled alone, share the experience with the people you meet, ask questions. You will meet some larger-than-life characters when you get off the interstate; they renew your belief in the individualism and diversity that made this country great. If you change your plans just a little, you can find time to chat with some of the hometown folks, gain their trust, listen to the history of the wind-blown town they call home, get a good tip on a hole-in-the-wall eatery and find out why they stay in such a lonely place.

Occasionally you will learn something very valuable which is exactly what happened to Granny and Dad.  For example, crowds spill out of buses and stream in from acres of parking lot to “ooh and aah” at Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park.  But there are bigger and better geysers in the park, they just aren’t as…..faithful.

 

Geysers like Castle, Daisy and Steamboat may be slightly off the beaten path and are less predictable but spectacular when they finally explode.  Steamboat was dormant for years and then suddenly began erupting every 8 – 15 days according to its own whim.  When it does erupt, it is taller (more than 300 ft high), louder (often erupting for up to 40 minutes) and more dangerous than Old Faithful; signs in the parking lot ¼ of a mile away warn drivers about mineral damage to cars if Steamboat should leave the dock.  Granny and Dad eagerly approached the geyser to find a large group of people sitting in lawn chairs covered in blankets, just staring at the sputtering, spouting hole. Some of them looked like they had spent the night, bleary eyed, sipping coffee out of huge thermoses just like spectators spending the night on Colorado Blvd. waiting for the Rose Parade to start.  It dawned on us, these were serious Geyser Gazers and when we asked questions, we learned about an app called Geyser Times, indeed the owner and designer of the app was one of the crowd!  Some of them had been there for days, with canvas covered motorhomes in the parking lot, taking turns watching, taking notes, and comparing geyser eruption stories.  Dad affectionately called them Geezer Geyser Gazers and then Granny Hat pointed out that we must be Miser Geezer Geyser Gazers, but Granny digresses.

We wandered on down the boardwalk amid bubbling pools and spouting fountains and came upon an elderly woman sitting lotus fashion in front of a tiny geyser called Vixen.  She had an ultralight backpack, a notepad and a stop watch.  Every time the tiny geyser even hiccuped, this devotee would scribble furiously. Granny watched her spellbound; this was a true worshipper.  As if she felt our presence, she began expounding the virtues of her favorite geyser without turning around to make eye contact, how Vixen is overlooked and undervalued and she’s fine with that because she can sit by herself in peace.  She clearly had disdain for the groupie geyser gazers – she was no fair-weather friend, following the geyser making the most noise and ruining the most automotive paint jobs. According to the woman, Vixen’s pastel pool, fills and recedes with clear boiling water until it erupts in a beautiful, thin fountain every few hours. Granny’s better half began asking the geyser lady questions, acknowledging that she knew more about the Norris Basin than any Forest Ranger we had met that day. She explained that the summer ranger staff could hardly speak confidently about geysers as they had not taken the time to observe each one. She said they were too busy leading hurried tours down the board walk instead of sitting and watching.  Patience and persistence cannot be accomplished in a hurry.

A little further down the Boardwalk Granny and dad chuckled over the black, bubbling mud pool called Congress! Soon after that they happened upon two Geyser Gazers in lawn chairs at least ½ mile away from Steamboat Geyser.  When asked why they were watching from afar, they said the view of the true height and force of the eruption was better from this distance and that they could hear themselves think. Dad commented about the lone Vixen admirer and they both declared cryptically, “Ah, yes that would be Emma! Everyone knows Emma!”   We still aren’t quite sure what they meant.  But there is no doubting Emma’s persistence and devotion; she drives in from Eastern Wyoming several times a week to sit quietly, watch patiently, and persistently record in her little notebook.  She was truly passionate about geysers, especially her favorite Vixen.

Truly, all of the Geyser Gazers that Granny met displayed great passion for their very specific natural wonder.  It got Granny to thinking:  most people claim to be passionate about many things, but do they show patience and persistence to back up their passion? How far will they drive?  How long will they wait?  Will they invest?

Granny and Dad had to move along to see the other wonders Yellowstone had to offer, they couldn’t wait for Steamboat or Vixen.  The Geyser Times App told Granny that Steamboat erupted 8 hours after she drove away.  Granny has been asking herself, “Am I willing to sit quietly, listen intently, and watch without wavering, even for the simplest miracle of God’s creation?  How about waiting for wisdom?   Or for the look on a child’s face when she understands the love of Jesus?”  The best things in life take time; be patient, persist and reserve passion for the true wonders of the world.

Granny Hat’s “better half” spent Independence Day 2019 rafting down the Colorado River, through the Grand Canyon, sleeping under the stars, showering in water falls and eating desserts out of dutch ovens.  This was the trip of a lifetime, adventuring downriver in a huge pontoon raft with 14 other explorers including son Christopher and grandsons Dakota and Caden.

While keeping the home fires burning Granny decided to launch her own epic adventure, the next Ultralight Life step. You see, something recently motivated Granny Hat more than Marie Kondo ever could.  While dropping off boxes of junk at her favorite thrift store, Granny spotted this creepy book, Crap At My Parent’s House  staring up at her.  She was terrified to even open it, what if her own knick-knacks and habits were listed on the pages?   She wondered “could my kids have conspired to author this shocking title?”  Granny was seized with fear and urgency!  It was time to resume the ultralight purge. She promised herself she would tackle the clothing the next time dad was gone; he does love all his 120 shirts.  So Granny opened up her closets and YES, things fell out.  Her first thought was that some wardrobes are mysterious, leading to magical lands of lamp posts and sleigh rides. But not Granny’s, there was no way she could even step inside!

The Kondo minimalism method recommends piling  every piece of clothing you own on your bed before sorting through it all, deciding what to keep wearing and what to donate. Hundreds of Hoarders are blindly following these instructions and learning very quickly that it is easier to toss hats and jerseys in a donation bag than hang them back up or neatly roll and stack in drawers.  Besides, Marie promises that if your clothes no longer bring you “joy”, throwing them away certainly will make you happy and give you back the control you were born to wield. Thrift shops across the nation are buried in clothing because of Kondomania; many have closed their donation gates.  Granny Hat was fighting the clock on finding new homes for her once loved duds but she decided to take matters into her own hands and “Do it My Way”  for the following reasons.

1. Granny’s king size bed is not big enough for all the clothing
2. It would take more than a day to sort what fell out of those closets; she wants to sleep in her own bed tonight.
3. Granny is a rebel, if “everyone else” is piling Tshirts, underwear and socks on beds than she is going to be more creative.

Granny Hat decided to captain her own raft trip. First step was to inflate a three man Explorer raft, surely it would have plenty of room for anything the closet delivered up. She gathered all the socks, scarves, pants, dresses, jackets, shirts, sweaters and hats, dragging them outside under the trees.  There may have been a wheelbarrow involved.  The pile of clothing grew higher and higher in the raft.

Granny Hat learned so much on the 4th of July!  She learned that the Kondo method of piling the clothes is brilliant because it devalues them.  Even the snappiest three piece suit or elegant evening dress has no dignity whatsoever lying crumpled on the heap along with the painting shirts and moth eaten winter sweaters. And Granny Hat’s rebel method may have been original but was certainly more work; it took many back breaking trips to ferry those duds out to the “dock”,  pile them on the raft, conduct a photo shoot, then sort and separate.  Piles of clothing weigh a TON, the burden of them has been heavy on Granny’s mind for too long. All of the extra labor made it very easy to let go of sentimental feelings and say goodbye. She had a Joni Mitchell moment wishing for a river to “float away on”.

But before she could properly christen her craft with some bubbly (thank you, Martinellis) peril struck, disaster on the high seas!  The whole load capsized, spilling Granny Hat over the starboard side, clutching her life preserver.  Ahoy there matey, it is dangerous to own so many clothes!

 

 

“Sailing, takes me away
To where I’ve always heard it

Just a dream and the wind to carry me
Soon I will be free”  Christopher Cross

Granny Hat says to sail on down that river, shed the burden, sentence your extra junk to walk the plank!  You won’t regret it! Bon Voyage!

 

 

 

Granny Hat woke in a panic this morning from dreams of scorpions, poodle dogs, snow drifts and windmills.  Then she remembered what day it is, May 8! A year since Mission signed in at the Southern Terminus of the PCT.  Granny had a sudden urge to check in with SPOT and google his coordinates. She still has a stomach ache, maybe on account of the PTSD from having a son on a 3 month solo trek or maybe because a whole year raced by just like that, how dare time fly so quickly! It marches on just like a thru hiker on a mission.  Granny’s friend, the candy monster Broken Arrow, is busy taking the one less traveled this year and if ignorance is bliss, then knowledge is bound to bring a little worry .  Go Broken Arrow, please be safe!  And Go Mission, conquer those college finals! They are probably scarier than poodle dog bush.

GRANNY HAT & DAD TAKE ONE LESS TRAVELED 

Picture this: Granny Hat and Dad are on a road trip.  Granny loves being the navigator so with map in hand and Siri in the other, she cheerfully shouts out directional commands to Dad who 9 times out of 10 smoothly ignores her and with a whiplash turn to the left, guns down a pothole path, and careens right past the “not a through road” sign, which really should read “not a road”.   But there, right at the dead end, a forsaken cottage, smothered in honeysuckle vines catches Granny’s eye.  Dad has to stop for Granny to take a peek through the cracked windows and snap a picture.  Plus they need to turn around anyway. They would surely have missed it, sailed right past on the highway.  The back roads of America take time but yield rewards.  That road not taken was once humming with carriages and bicycles, hay wagons and fishing poles.  Granny Hat can close her eyes and imagine the life on that used – to – be road.

Granny loves the idea of the road less traveled but then she also likes to play it safe.  Recently Dad took her to Pinnacles National Park for a super bloom spring hike.  They were enjoying the drive down a country highway dressed in glocca morra green, bedazzled with lupine and poppies. Suddenly their view was obscured by two tour buses jammed packed with tourists hoping for a quick view of some California Condors (recently brought back from extinction and released at the Pinnacles thanks to the San Diego Zoo).  The buses were painfully slow but Dad managed to pass and beat them to the park gates, counting on the visitor center with the small bathrooms to swallow the tourists up. Granny Hat was spoiled by the days when Pinnacles was a lowly National Monument, sporadically visited by local Boy Scout troops and serious moonlight hikers.  Now its National Park status has raised awareness and that awareness has systematically stomped the trails through the caves and over the hills into wide, dusty thoroughfares.  Dad knew about the Wilderness Trail though, the one less traveled because it is long and lonely.  The little knot of noisy bus people at the trail head made up his mind.

“I don’t know, Jimmy, my shoes will never make 10 miles. Let’s take the Bear Gulch one with the caves, much shorter.”

“And anyway, this trail doesn’t look maintained, what if there’s snakes?”

Sometimes we make decisions based on other people’s views.  Dad does this during election season, if this or that organization likes a certain candidate then that settles it, he doesn’t.  So, if the noisy fancy shoe bus people were taking Bear Gulch, Granny and Dad were taking the overgrown Wilderness Trail.

Granny took a momentary pause, WOULD the trail less traveled be crawling with snakes?  Or mountain lions? Granny never ever wants to meet one of those which is why she double strides to keep up with Dad on the trail.  Tempted to play it safe but lured by that tiny path lined with fields of wild flowers, Granny Hat marveled at the transformation one season of life-giving rain can bring.  Sometimes it was hard to keep from trampling dainty buttercups and purple stars that were blooming right on the trail.  Wild ducks, mallards, quail and wild turkeys flew out of thickets as we crossed actual bubbling creeks.  Anyone familiar with Pinnacles will know that the words GREEN GRASS and BUBBLING CREEKS aren’t usually associated with the park.

“not all who wander are lost”  or  “most who are lost wandered” ???

Anyone taking the one less traveled learns to rely on trail markers.  They are  reassuring, especially around creek crossings. It has been said that “not all who wander are lost”, but Granny has noticed that “most who are lost wandered”. The path may twist and turn, be covered in flowered vines or bubbling spring creeks but that little pile of stones beckons the wanderer back.

The poet states that taking the one less traveled “has made all the difference” but he doesn’t say what kind of difference, a tragic one? a glorious one? memorable? difficult, perhaps?  But who wants to stay safe and same?  Isn’t different interesting?  Granny Hat thinks so, but she would like to be safe and different, thank you very much.

Nojoqui Falls, CA and Joke or No Jokey, Dad took the kids to the falls anyway.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both,

And be one traveler, long I stood and looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

 

Then took the other, as just as fair, and having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear; though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

 

And both that morning equally lay in leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference.

 

the one less traveled is a small world!

Both Broken Arrow and Mission got to meet Heather Anderson “Anish”, the PCT unassisted record holder who hiked the Pacific Crest Trail in 60 days in 2013.  Mission met her at a book signing for her new book THIRST; 2600 MILES TO HOME. Broken Arrow met her on the PCT a couple of days ago where she was coaching another thru hiker.