Mother’s Day, Mercenaries & Merino Wool

Granny Hat hopes all the moms reading this had a Happy Mother’s Day!  She remembers a time when Mother’s Day was a very busy Sunday indeed with a special brunch offered up by very excited, whispering kids that had to keep running down the hall to ask the woman of honor about food prep. Her little chefs are more adept and creative cooks than Granny now and she considers that a huge win.  

After breakfast with posies in a tea cup, off to church where the oldest kid always got to pick out a rose from the bucket to give to mom after service.  Kinda not fair and in a family of five, FAIR is a frequent discussion topic.  Our church graduated to chocolates for mom, thanks to a lovely and generous family that owned De Brito Candy Company. Good memories. 

This particular Mother’s Day, Granny is singing in Glacier Symphony & Chorale’s staged version of the opera Carmen, an interesting choice for a sacred day devoted to moms.  Granted, Don Jose sings a lovely song about a kiss sent from his mother but it’s really about the young and beautiful messenger, Michaela. The handsome lover then almost misses his mother’s death bed while busy chasing a two-timing gypsy all over Seville.  In a fit of troubled jealousy and regret, he mortally stabs Carmen and quite abruptly, the opera finishes with the words “Carmen, how I loved you.”  Yeah, right!  Mother’s, don’t let your babies grow up to be gypsies, tramps and thieves, or bullfighters.   

Instead, train them to be adventure seekers! You will be proud but never have a moment’s peace on Mother’s Day.  A year ago, Granny Hat received a text message from Mission on the Arizona Trail, wishing her a Happy Mom’s Day after walking through a nocturnal cougar hunting ground and stepping over countless Gila Monsters basking in the desert sun.   

This year, Granny’s PCT thru hiker is descending Mt. San Jacinto after peaking in the snow, thankfully with a group of fellow hikers.  Mt. San Jacinto is 10,834 ft above sea level and far from the highest peak or pass on the Pacific Crest Trail; but it is still a formidable climb made more complicated by 2023’s record- breaking California snow covering much of the trail at the highest elevations. Christopher says the mountain is “no joke, an incredible million-dollar view, hard work”. The peak is at 175.4 miles on the PCT. He reports there were no problems, even the stream crossing was smooth. He did text Granny and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.

Christopher has been sending a video nearly every day and his wife downloads them onto his website so that is the best place to hear about his adventures in his own words.  veteranhiking.com    Granny is enjoying a new point of view from his reactions to the trek.  Remember HYOH?  Hike Your Own Hike has become a mantra, a confidence booster, often repeated when decisions have to be made on the trail, when a hiker may have to slow down to heal or change plans due to weather.  Christopher is covering the same miles as his younger brother Mission, but their trek stories are very unique and aspects of the trail have changed in 5 years.

For example, Granny became fascinated with Mission’s stories about the Trail Angels he would meet along the way.  Granny even got to be a Trail Angel once up on Steven’s Pass in WA, giving a ride to two hikers from their zero at Leavenworth back to the PCT.  Christopher has categorized these “good samaritan” phenomena into 3 categories:   Trail Angels, Trail Magic and Trail Hustlers. 

Trail Angels and Trail Magic are similar, people who offer rides, food, water, help and support to the hikers.  Trail Angels tend to be more inconspicuous, humble, often working individually.  Trail Magic folks are often more of a club, make quite a show of their generosity with pop-ups, fancy flags, names and signs. 

Christopher says to watch out for the third category: the Trail Hustle!  At first Granny thought he was going to tell about a new dance genre invented in the wild.  This is no dance, this is an invasion!  Granny has lived long enough to know that so many lovely things can be easily ruined by opportunistic greed.  Mission would report about Trail Angels giving rides into town for re-supply and not asking for a dime.  Some would actually turn down compensation while others would accept a buck or two for gas.  Christopher reports that now, before hopping in the car with a “trail angel”, it might be a good idea to first ask, “how much are you charging for the ride?”  There are self-made UBER drivers way out there in the wilderness that will charge $40 a pop for each rider after driving them 10 or 15 miles.  They may look like Trail Angels, but they are really Mercenaries. 

These mercenaries also lurk in the supply towns. Christopher tells a funny story about the shoe shop in Julian that tells you Altras are the only way to go so hikers pay attention and buy a pair. When they limp into Idyllwild, the advertised shoes of choice to fix all foot problems are Topos. There they will tell you that your hiking problems come down to the fact that you bought Altras in Julian. Then when you get farther north to Wrightwood, they will tell you that Topos just can’t compete with Altras. He is convinced the shoe shops are in cahoots. They have you over a barrel, little to no competition.  Your feet hurt and they’ll tell you lies and sell you shoes. When a trail hustler wants to overcharge for a hitch you can’t just step into the street and hail another taxi.  You can’t even Yelp any of the mercenaries!  You have needs and the hustlers are there to fleece you. Gypsies, tramps and thieves! 

Speaking of fleece, Christopher also reports that he has learned a powerful lesson about why hikers spend extra money on garments made from Merino Wool.  Polyester blends start stinking early in the journey and you can never fully get the “hiker funk” out of them even after soak, wash, rinse, repeat.  But wool wicks away moisture and the stench evaporates with the sweat.  It shouldn’t be a surprise; any self-respecting Merino lamb has standards.  Beware of mercenaries wearing Merino Wool, though. 

Granny’s better half was working in Southern California and was able to drive up to Idyllwild to spend a night with Christopher, who was taking a zero and getting re-supply. They ate dinner with a hiking group and got caught up on trail news. A merry meeting!

Christopher reports that he has met so many wonderful people from all over the world. He has a bit of origin envy, Granny thinks. Somebody will introduce themselves as being from Switzerland and everyone thinks that is cool. Someone else might hail from Saudi Arabia! Oh, that’s incredible, wow! Another is from France or Los Angeles, all great. Then Christopher says he’s from Nebraska. Everybody is like huh? Where’s that? He admits to exaggerating a little but says it’s amazing how many Americans don’t know where Nebraska is. Granny thinks this is funny; hikers live by maps, they buy expensive trail maps, sign up for GPS systems etc. Those fly-over states just don’t get any cred; they don’t even make it on the map!

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” African Proverb