Granny Hat & Mother Goose

“Old Mother Goose, when she wanted to wander,

Would ride through the air on a very fine gander.”

Granny Hat likes having her say just like the best of them.  And lately there is so much to talk about.  Talking can keep her from thinking, which is good because thinking these days can be dangerous.  And if she opens her mouth to speak or puts her thoughts down for people to read, that can be dangerous too! How many of Granny’s  readers have offered their opinions on social media only to realize they have lost a “friend” because of it?  How many of them have bumped their noggins on a wall built up between friends or family members because of politics?  Someone said something about their post being “taken down” the other day because they spoke too freely about their concerns!  If you have something to say that is opposed to the daily rhetoric or if you aren’t the type of American to goose step behind whoever is doling out the stipends and vaccinations, you may find that what you have to say is extremely unpopular.

More than any time in Granny’s life, she is beginning to suspect that censorship has invaded the land of the free and the home of the brave.  She remembers stories from history class that told about nations that inspired such fear in their people that they would actually tattle on their neighbors for actions that the King frowned upon!  Throughout the centuries, subjects of kingdoms all around the world have cowered in fear of offending their rulers and finding themselves punished with poverty or worse. But Granny never ever envisioned that the red, white and blue country she loves would actually stoop to fostering fear and subservience instead of confidence and independence.  Freedom of speech, of assembly, of religion, these are treasures!

Granny has an idea! Maybe it’s time to take a tip from her British ancestors who didn’t enjoy these freedoms and carefully “say what she needs to say” in rhymes and riddles.  She has heard that many of the Mother Goose Rhymes may sound like innocent children’s songs but were actually exposés of very scandalous stuff in the palace or protests against unjust social practices.  The Kings and Queens of Old England couldn’t handle criticism, they got their feathers ruffled at the slightest provocation. The penalty for speaking up against their rule was extreme. So if you had an opinion and couldn’t keep it to yourself you had to have an imagination and find a way to have your say AND keep your head on your shoulders. Granny Hat has always wondered what happened to the little child at the parade who declared “the Emperor has no clothes!” If the naked truth can get you in trouble, better to disguise the facts. It was brilliant to make little nursery rhymes that kids could chant as they played in the streets and ran through the woods.  What better way to spread the word?  Add a little humor and the rhymes were easier to swallow and usually sailed right over the heads of the rich and famous.

Granny Hat has collaborated with Mother Goose to come up with a list of favorite nursery rhymes followed with the real life stories they describe in code.  She would love to see if her readers can match them up. Perhaps they can inspire us to add some humor and rhythm to the things we need to say. Fair warning, conditions were brutal for our ancestors.  Mother Goose may be for kids, but the tales that inspired them were definitely for a more mature audience.

Matching Game: match the nursery rhymes to the historical legends below!

Three Blind Mice                Humpty Dumpty                  Jack and Jill

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary              Georgy Porgy                      Baa, Baa, Black Sheep

                           Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater                 Ring a Ring o’ Roses

 

1. Queen Mary I, known as Bloody Mary didn’t mess around.  See, she was Catholic and three of her noblemen were Protestant. When they refused to proselytize, she accused them of plotting to overthrow her rule and had them burned at the stake. Now to be fair she didn’t really dismember them or put out their eyes, just burned them, so no biggy.

2. Don’t even ask what these two unmarried royals were up to when they set out on a hike.  The man was injured in a fall down the hill and carried into town in ceremony and scandal. The woman ended up in the family way and the villagers couldn’t resist gossiping about the hanky-panky.

3. Bloody Mary, the Catholic Queen of England sure was an infamous lady. Her leadership was self-serving and her subjects lived in fear.  She rode through the streets with expensive ornaments dangling from her gowns, smiling and waving at her starving people. She was widely known for executing over 280 protestant dissenters. She had lost a string of infants at childbirth and the people mocked her for not being able to produce any living children to run and play in her extensive gardens.

4. It is said that King Richard III was fond of a 17^th century drink made of brandy and ale. He had a bit too much, rode off to battle pretty tipsy and fell off his horse only to be chopped to bits by his enemies. No one could do anything for him. Pubs in England still serve the drink named after this rhyme.

5. George Villiers was the Duke of Buckingham in the 17^th century.  He was rich, famous and very handsome.  If only he had used these things for goodness and influence.  But instead he was a social climber who slept his way to the top, breaking hearts and homes all over the kingdom.  He was the notorious tabloid face of the day, with paparazzi following him back and forth across the London Bridge.

6. There was no such thing as an amicable separation or a divorce in England in the early 1700’s.  There was one prominent duke whose wife kept wandering back to her former nightlife career.   He couldn’t divorce her without a scandal so he just had her knocked off and hid her body in the garden. Problem solved!

7. There is nothing new under the sun, certainly not taxes!  For centuries Kings, Rulers, Parliaments and Congress have leveraged heavy taxes on their citizens.  Apparently as early as the 13^th century, shepherd boys barely profited from the sale of wool because the local tax collector would come to call as soon as the sheared sheep were running around in the cold naked. This was years before concerned citizens ever even thought of throwing crates of perfectly good tea into the harbor.  Guess when nursery rhymes didn’t work, people had to board ships and risk everything to repatriate.  When the taxes even followed them across the sea, they just had to get louder!

8. The Black Plague swept across Europe between 1347 and 1353, killing millions of people.  Symptoms included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring, sneezing, and black sores.  The people places herbs and flower petals in their pockets to cut down on the putrid smell of the sores and the funeral pyres all around town.

 

There are many more Mother Goose rhymes that hint of mysterious historical events.  Do they sound familiar?  They say history repeats itself and that we rarely learn from it.  Granny Hat thinks that is very sad.  So while she can, she intends to keep saying what she needs to say, creatively!  Mother Goose has inspired her.  And next time there’s a parade and someone streaks, she will just keep her mouth shut!

 

“Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put ’em in quotations

Say what you need to say……

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say …….

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open (a wide heart)

Say what you need to say ……”

SAY by John Mayer

 

So what was the cat?  The fiddle?

And who really jumped over the moon?

Who ran away with whom?